I’m on my way to Dallas Texas. As is the usual case, my employer booked me on the worst possible flight (leaving Atlanta at 9:00 pm), in coach, on a full flight. As we are a corporate customer, I tried using our upgrades to get into a business class seat so I don’t have to sit leaning out into the aisle for the entire flight. Unfortunately, the customer service rep told me, all flights from Atlanta to DFW are completely booked. I’ll have to stay in my coach seat. I know I was certainly not looking forward to this flight. However, the Gods have smiled upon me once again. When I arrived at the ticket counter, I got in the First Class/Corporate Customer line (bypassing the throngs of idiots trying to use the self-serve kiosks). The agent behind the counter was very friendly and nice, and so I figured, what the heck… and I asked her if there were any seats available in business class. She replied “Yes, i have two seats, but you’ll have to pay a $35 upgrade fee”. Gladly. I handed over my credit card and at this moment, I’m able to sip on some Baileys, and work on my laptop. And true to their word, this flight is booked. As I got up to get my laptop out of my laptop bag, I glanced back into coach. Every seat is full. I would have had a miserable time back there. I’d be thirsty and my neck and back would be sore from leaning into the aisle to make room for the person next to me. Why do the airlines have to squash the coach fliers in like sardines? It’s almost torture back there.

Speaking of torture… while business class is an upgrade from coach, it is not a vacation at the French Riveria. There is a woman two rows ahead of me who’s got her shoes off and her bare feet propped up against the bulkhead. Please put some shoes or at least some socks on. No one wants to see or smell your stinky-ass bare feet. And as far as smell goes, whoever the hell keeps farting can stop it… or maybe it’s the woman’s feet. I’m not sure.

Why is it that whenever I’m on a plane, I fall asleep during taxi and takeoff? I always remember pushing out from the gate, watching the crew do their safety ritual…. and then *DING*, I wake up to the captain ringing the cabin bell, to indicate to the flight attendants that it’s safe for them to move around. Then I usually drift in and out of sleep until I get my coke… and a snack. What is it about taxi and takeoff that makes me fall asleep? Taxiing after we land isn’t ever an issue… in fact, then I’m more wide awake then ever.

I’m wearing my “Caesars” shirt I got from Caesar’s Palace when I was in Las Vegas a couple years ago. This woman sitting next to me at the airport asked me if I worked for Caesar’s. So, I told her yes. I made up some story about how I work in Casino Operations. We talked for the next half hour about my job and how exciting she thought it might be. Or rather, I should say she talked for the next thirty minutes…. I didn’t have to say anything after the word ‘Yes”.

It’s funny, I’ve started a trend. I got my laptop out and now there are five of us in business class using our laptops. One is playing Solitare, one is watching a movie on his DVD drive, one is reading some document and making occasional changes and the other guy just got his out. I’m such a trendsetter.

Well, I’m going to have to put the laptop away now, battery is running low. More reports will come from Dallas.

Be Sociable, Share!