The other day, I get home from work and there’s one of the UPS Post-it notes stuck on my front door. You know the one that says “Sorry, we were here and you weren’t…” and usually provides an area for you to sign and then they leave the package the next day. Not this time.
First, I wondered just who in the hell would be sending me a package via UPS. I checked the “From” line, and the UPS driver filled in, “Metron, N.A.”. I’m thinking where the hell is Metron, NA and what state is NA anyway? Does NA mean there’s no state? Then I notice the next checkbox…. “SIGNATURE REQUIRED (IN PERSON)”. I check the back of the “InfoNotice” - “SIGNATURE REQUIRED (IN PERSON) - An adult signature is required at the time of package delivery.”
Fuck.
First of all, who the hell sends anything signature required in person anymore? Don’t these shippers realize nobody is home during the day anymore? I mean, it’s not like UPS offers nighttime delivery, or anything. And they’re dutifully going to try to deliver to my home two more times, when I’m not home and then hold my package at their facility, which is open only during the hours in which I have to work.
Wonderful.
I call UPS’s 1-800 number and the girl on the line offers to redeliver the package at a time when I am home. Perfect, I tell her. Anytime after 7 pm the next day would be fine. She says she can’t schedule a specific time, just a day, and most drivers are typically done delivering their packages by 6 pm. I tell her I get off work at 6 pm, and it takes 30 minutes to drive home, so that’s unacceptable. How about Saturday? She tells me they only deliver Monday through Friday. So, I say, rather pissed off, “You mean your drivers only deliver packages when nobody is home? SO, how in the hell are you supposed to get an adult signature if nobody is going to be home?” She tells me they can hold the package at their facility… I cut her off and tell her I already know the hours and since I have a JOB - something she should understand - I can’t come get the package when the facility is open (too far from the office for my lunch hour).
She’s silent for a second, then offers to redeliver my package to anywhere in the 48 “continuous” (I thought it was “contiguous”) United States. Perfect! I’ll have it delivered to my office! I give her my office address and get that all squared away. She tells me they’ll redeliver to the office on Thursday.
So, last night, around 8pm, I’m sitting on my sofa, trying not to fall asleep watching TV when the doorbell rings.
It’s UPS.
They’re bringing me my package.
Go figure.
By the way - Metron NA is “Metron, North America” the company name sending me the package… from Tennessee.
21/07/2005 at 8:26 am Permalink
So….what did you get??
21/07/2005 at 1:11 pm Permalink
I’ve always loved this. Service jobs should work to help out normal working stiffs.
When I was an apartment dweller, I always liked the fact the office wasn’t open before I left for work, closed for lunch and then closed at 4:30 or 5 every day. So, any business you needed to do, or any packages they had for you… had to be picked up on YOUR time.
Banks are the same way, but at least some are now open a little later, and some open on Saturday.
There is a car wash and oil change place in a very busy part of town that doesn’t open on Sunday! I’ve never understood why places that would do tons of business close on Sunday. What does Chick Fil-A lose per year because of this, 100 million? More?
Glad you got your package, dude. Hope your swedish penis enlarger pump works out!
21/07/2005 at 8:36 pm Permalink
priceless…
21/07/2005 at 11:55 pm Permalink
Hell, even the post office delivers crap on Saturday. You’d think UPS would catch up.
22/07/2005 at 12:59 am Permalink
Oh.. yeah… I got my free XM Radio that I qualified for on the XM “Doubleplay” Rebate. Retail value: $49.99. Why would I have to sign for that? It wasn’t even activated when I got it!
22/07/2005 at 4:49 pm Permalink
and what did you get in the mail
22/07/2005 at 6:50 pm Permalink
Where’s my package?
24/07/2005 at 1:43 am Permalink
I have always had that problem with FedEx, I have ordered several computer parts in the last 6 months, and besides once, I would say I would have to go to fedex 5 out of 6 times to pick it up, and here is the kicker, I was home and yet they “kept missing me”
26/07/2005 at 10:11 pm Permalink
Yes, the way of UPS are mysterious. I have to drive 45+ minutes to my designated depot because I fall in the watershed area of that one, not the depot 10 minutes drive en route to my work. Their hours are odd an 8 pm delivery odder still. UPS is always good for a story tho.
05/08/2005 at 8:01 pm Permalink
People will ‘bitch’ about anything.