TheBisch

I made it. I didn’t die on the flights from hell.

Yesterday on my flight from Denver to South Dakota, I encountered The Plane Nazi, a Flight Attendant that was going a little over the top. That, or she was a control freak, not sure which.

She definitely had the safety briefing memorized, that’s for sure… she also rattled off a bunch of supposed “FAA No No’s” that I have never heard another flight attendant mention. Best of all, when she was done with the safety speech, she informed all of us that if we needed to get something from the overhead bin, that we couldn’t get up to get it ourselves, she would come help us. And in fact, no sooner did we get in the air, someone needed to get into the bin.

Well… I was hungry. I wanted my Snickers bar that was in the side pocket of my bag that was in the bin. But, I anticipated that I would want the Snickers bar, so I positioned my bag so that the side pocket was accessible without getting the bag down.

So, being that this was a small plane. I could reach up and open the bin and reach the side pocket, all without unbuckling my seat belt.

The Plane Nazi saw this and flipped out! She came rushing to my aisle and said, “Let me get that for you sir”… I told her I didn’t want the bag, just something out of the side pocket. She insisted on getting the bag down for me. I told her again I didn’t want the bag. She then got the bag down for me. It took me two seconds to retrieve my Snickers bar and before she could even turn to walk away I said, “Thanks, now can you put this back up there for me since I DIDN’T WANT MY BAG? Other passengers were laughing. It was great.

Then as we were landing, we were instructed to put everything away. Usually this means laptops, cd players, objects with a lot of weight behind them. But no, not on Plane Nazi’s flight. The guy sitting across the aisle from me was berated for continuing the hold onto his water bottle… a water bottle? What the hell? I asked her if it was alright for me to hold onto my magazine that I was still reading…. She didn’t answer me, nor do I think she found that amusing, but the other passengers did.

So, Mesa Airlines operating as United, you have a strange one interacting with your passengers. You might want to review that one. In case anyone at United reads this… use the contact me button on the right, I’ll give you my flight details…

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