Ten NEW Thoughts to Ponder

  • Number 10 – Life is sexually transmitted.
  • Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
  • Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
  • Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky…..not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
  • Number 5 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  • Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • Number 3 – Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
  • Number 2 - In the 60′s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  • AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR THIS WEEK:
    We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven’t got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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