TheBisch

Today I was really tired at work and needed an energy boost (ie: anything with caffiene)…. so during a break I headed over to the employee break room. In the break room, there’s a soda machine, a snack machine, and the horrible liquid machine that dispenses “coffee”, which smells like rancid pee and doesn’t taste like coffee.

I honestly believe that Utopia’s cubicle ninjas have infiltrated my office and wreaked havoc upon the break room. First they pee in the coffee machine, then the snack machine is also missing anything remotely bad for me. If it looks healthy, it’s in the machine, but all the Twix, Snickers, Famous Amos Cookies, Hershey’s Bars, etc are completely gone.

So, avoiding the “coffee” machine, I head for the soda machine, where there is a sign that says “Bill changer broken - use snack machine!”. Well, it’s been a well known fact for a long time that the snack machine bill changer has always been the more “liberal” bill changer. So, I attempt to stick my dollar bill in the snack machine and it doesn’t even try to accept my bill. So, I try another bill, and then another, all with the same result. I decide to try the soda machine changer. It actually takes the bill, and then spits it right back out, no matter what bill I use. So, I head over to reception for change and mention it to the receptionist. She says “Yeah, it’s been broken for about a month now”.

So, what I what to know is, in a company that thrives on underpaying it’s employees and then working us 60+ hours each week, why can’t you spend a couple bucks to fix the damn coin changers so we can get our much needed caffiene injections?

Oh wait… I know why… the people who make the financial decisions drink from the rancid pee machine… and it only costs a quarter and there is no bill changer.

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